Beside the Point:

Not pertinent to the matter under consideration. See also irrelevant, digressive, extraneous, immaterial, impertinent, tangential.

Yes! We are an online literary journal, or, as we like to call it, an e-journal. This is not a pyramid scheme, or an exciting new franchising opportunity, or a new way to play the lotto using scientifically proven methods. It’s like a print journal, but online.

I know there are print loyalists out there who think it’s ironic when we call ourselves a publication. Do you know what we say to them? Pshaw. All good things start with “e.” Let us consider:

• e-mail: Everyone uses it. It’s fast. It’s easy. And what do they call print mail? Snail mail. Snails are gross. When you step on them the shells crack and the puke-green innards squish all over your shoe. Try submitting that.

• e-commerce: Picture a guy with his suit pants rolled up, sitting on a beach at sunset, throwing his head back, laughing. His teeth are perfect, too. That’s e-commerce.

• e-zine: If you don’t know what a zine is, you are probably not hip enough to know what an e-zine is. Print journals don’t know about e-zines.

• e-ink: Magic ink used in paperless books. We’re not making that up.

• e-xcellent: Much better than adequate. Paper is adequate. “E” is for excellent.

And “e” is for e-journal.

A million years ago in January, we spread the word about Beside the Point via posters, radio waves and word of mouth. We received a lot of great submissions, but we’re greedy for more. We’ll have to wait, though. It’s the end of April, and you’re all burnt out. You’ve been dreaming about summer: jumping into lakes from high cliffs, buzzing heat and apple trees, sending the kids to camp. . . it’s obvious. Most of you wrote about it. Let that burn-out fade to a nice tan, and when the rain returns, send us your stuff. Don’t send it snail mail. We’ll put salt on it and watch it sizzle. Send it the way Shakespeare would have: e-mail. (Trust me on that one.)

Happy writing!