Characters

LIAM

LEAH

ALEXIS

CHLOE

JENNIFER

BRAD

HOSTESS

RANDOM WOMAN

BACKGROUND CONVERSATIONS IN AN AUDITORIUM

Diflucan No Rx, LIAM: Can't I just meet you back here when you're done. There's a pub around the corner.

LEAH: No, Liam. You have to do this too. My friend Lisa tried speed dating a few weeks ago and she met someone really interesting. An intellectual type!

LIAM: (MOCKING) Oooh!

LEAH: Come on. I won't let my brother spend every weekend at home playing Madden alone in his underpants anymore.

(BEAT) It looks like the guys are sitting on the outside and girls are on the inside.

LIAM: Okay, Diflucan No Rx. But I'm gonna have to make it interesting.

1.

LEAH: You be nice and don't lie too much. You never know: you might meet someone you're interested in. I think it's starting. Sit down!

BACKGROUND CONVERSATION QUIETS

THE HOSTESS SPEAKS INTO A

MICROPHONE

HOSTESS:  (D) Welcome, everyone, to this week's session of Rapid Fire Dating!

CROWD CLAPS

(D) For y'all newcomers, Diflucan street price, this is how the night's gonna work: the ladies will have a seat across from the gentlemen, and y'all can get to talkin'. Diflucan No Rx, But don't get too attached, because after two minutes, the buzzer will go and the ladies will shift over to their right. So you gentlemen can just keep your butts planted where they are!  No need to worry about the men getting lost and needing to ask for directions, right ladies?

FEMALE LAUGHTER

LIAM: Christ.

HOSTESS: (D) All right, let's begin!

2.

A BUZZER SOUNDS

ONGOING BACKGROUND CONVERSATION

ALEXIS: Hi. Alexis.

LIAM: Hey, there. Liam.

ALEXIS: Great name. Are you Irish?

LIAM: No, but I wish I had a Guinness right now.

ALEXIS: (LAUGHS) That's funny. Well, I love ethnic names, anyway.

LIAM: Yeah, so Alexis.., Diflucan No Rx. are you... American?

ALEXIS: No, but I'd love to move to L.A, comprar en línea Diflucan, comprar Diflucan baratos. some day!

(BEAT) So, what do you do?

LIAM: Oh, uh, I'm a... photographer. Diflucan No Rx, I graph photos. Of models.

ALEXIS: How perfect. I mean, as you can probably tell, I do a bit of modelling sometimes. What do you charge?

LIAM: Charge?

3.

ALEXIS: Your models. The last session I did was a semi-nude. The guy charged me 300 bucks for the session, Diflucan No Rx. Diflucan maximum dosage, They turned out super hot.

LIAM: (STIFLES LAUGH) He charged you, huh. I mean, yeah, sounds like my rate. So, you must be a professional model?

ALEXIS: I'm what they call a quintuple threat: actress, singer, model, dancer, and writer.

LIAM: That must be getting expensive for you.

ALEXIS: I get a lot of tips working days at Hooligan's. But, it's a struggling artist's life, Diflucan results, you know?

LIAM: Totally.

(BEAT) So, have you ever done this kind of thing before?

ALEXIS: Oh, yes. Diflucan No Rx, I have a few times now. I'm so busy with all of my projects that I barely have the time to eat let alone go on dates. Not that I need to eat much, you know. I eat like a bird.

LIAM: You don't chew?

ALEXIS: What?

4.

LIAM: Nevermind.

ALEXIS: (LAUGHS) You're random. You must be a real artistic type to be a photographer.

LIAM: Oh, yeah. It takes a real eye to get the right amount of.., Diflucan No Rx. lady versus non- lady in the shot. And to make sure the models are not too shiny. Diflucan gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release, Or maybe... not making stupid faces. Diflucan No Rx, They do that sometimes. Light and shadow. Posing. All that.

ALEXIS:  Well, maybe you and I could work together in the future!

LIAM: Oh, yeah. Um, sure.

ALEXIS: Here, take one of my cards.

LIAM: Great. Oh, look, it even says "quintuple threat" right on it, Diflucan No Rx. And with three exclamation marks. That's really enthusiastic. And the pink card is very jarring to the eye, Diflucan class. I mean, the good kind of jarring.

ALEXIS: Thank you. Diflucan No Rx, I wanted it to stand out and really show my natural energy. Like, my presence is just —  PINK —  you know?

BUZZER SOUNDS

5.

LIAM: (FEIGHNED DISAPPOINTMENT) Oh no.

ALEXIS: You hang onto that.

(LOUD WHISPER) I do total nude shoots, too.

Nice meeting you.

LIAM: You too.

CHAIR SCREECHES AS THE WOMEN SWITCH PLACES

CHLOE: (NERVOUS) Hello. Chloe.

LIAM: Hi. Liam.

CHLOE: Sorry, I'm a little nervous.

LIAM: I wouldn't worry too much. I'm a pretty easy going guy.

CHLOE: I just got out of a long relationship and my friend brought me here. I'm slightly tempted to run for it.

LIAM: I hear that, Diflucan No Rx. My sister dragged me here, too. Effects of Diflucan, We can just try and get through this together. Well, for two minutes anyway.

6.

CHLOE: (SHY GIGGLE) Right.

(BEAT) (CONFIDENT) So, what do you do?

LIAM: I'm a lawyer.

CHLOE: Oh, wow. That's impressive. Diflucan No Rx, My ex-boyfriend was in law school at one point. But, he dropped out so he could start a truck nuts business.

LIAM: A what?

CHLOE: (ANNOYED) Those plastic testicles guys hang from their trailer hitches. He calls his "Wrangler Danglers." I told him that was far too specific a name. But, he never listened to me.

LIAM: Why limit yourself?

CHLOE: (CONFIDENT) That's what I said. He's also currently in the design phase for "Sideview Rears."

LIAM: Is that exactly what it sounds like?

CHLOE: (SAD) Yes.

LIAM: So, what do you do?

7.

CHLOE: I'm in advertising and marketing.

LIAM: Interesting, Diflucan price, coupon. What kind of companies do you work for?

CHLOE: (ANGRY) Well, I had been working on the promotional website for my ex's company, "Butts and Nutts," but now that's all over with.

LIAM: I see.

CHLOE: I guess that's what I get for mixing business and pleasure.

LIAM: And with this economy, who can really afford all of those butts and nuts, anyway?

CHLOE: It's better to just move on.

LIAM: Yes, Diflucan No Rx. Moving on is a great idea.

CHLOE: (CHEERFUL) So, what kind of lawyer are you?

LIAM: A few kinds. I'm a defence lawyer, I guess you could say.

CHLOE: Oh. You defend criminals or something?

8.

LIAM: Uh, it's complicated. It's not your common criminal activity. Diflucan No Rx, I work with a lot of... astronauts. You know — space crime — and such.

CHLOE: I didn't know that existed!

LIAM: Oh, yeah. There are different rules up there. My Diflucan experience, It's pretty wild.

CHLOE: That sounds fascinating!

(BEAT) (SUSPICIOUS) Are you really addicted to your job?

LIAM: I'm busy. Really busy.

CHLOE: (SAD) Oh, Diflucan No Rx. Yeah. My ex was a workaholic, too. He'd just spend hours in the basement on the computer designing those butts. It was sick, really.

BUZZER SOUNDS

LIAM: Wow. Diflucan No Rx, That was fast. Nice meeting you.

CHLOE: (SAD) What. Oh, yeah.

CHAIR SCREECHES AS THE WOMEN SWITCH PLACES

9.

JENNIFER: Hi. Jennifer.

LIAM: Yo. Liam.

JENNIFER: This is great. It's so fast-paced!

LIAM: Yeah, Diflucan No Rx. It's a magical whirlwind adventure.

JENNIFER: I find it's best to just get it all out there in the open, real brand Diflucan online. Right to the point!

LIAM: Go for it.

JENNIFER: (LIKE BULLET POINTS) I'm 28. I'm an administrative assistant for an insurance company. I love to do yoga, scrapbooking, and I go running every morning. Diflucan No Rx, I just finished a marathon two weeks ago. I'm looking for someone who loves to work but who also loves to play. I want to get a bigger place I can decorate just the way I like it. And I love kids. Time's ticking away, am I right. I'm definitely interested in someone who's dedicated and as committed to the dream as I am!

(BEAT) So, what do you do, Diflucan No Rx. Tell me everything!

LIAM: (HESITANT) I'm in... Diflucan long term, food.

JENNIFER: Don't be shy. Get it all out there on the table, like I did!

10.

LIAM: Yeah. Okay.

(BEAT)(CONFIDENT) I'm, let's say, 34. Diflucan No Rx, I flip burgers and clean grease traps for a living. That is, when I am not trying to get my fantasy novel published.

(LOUD WHISPER) I think it's really going to take off soon.

I just finished passing plastic cups of vodka from the sidelines to thirsty runners in the marathon two weeks ago. I want to stay in  the small place I'm living in because there's a lot less surface area for things to rot on. And I hate kids. Unless I can get them to clean for me, Diflucan No Rx. Also,  if you stop by my work at close, purchase Diflucan for sale, I can hook you up with a load of free grease.

JENNIFER: All right. I'm going to go to the washroom for the rest of this round. Good luck, asshole.

LIAM: Cheers.

CHAIR QUICKLY PUSHED BACK

BRAD: (OFF) Fine. I'll sit here.

CHAIR SQUEEK AS BRAD SITS

Oh.

11.

LIAM: Oh, hey, buddy. I think you uh—

BRAD: Screwed it up already.

Diflucan No Rx, (OFF) See, Brenda. I screwed it up already!

This is total BS.

LIAM: You could just move to the other side, over th—

BRAD: Man look at this place. Whew. It's like Last Call at Hooligan's in here. Where can i buy Diflucan online, Speed Dating. Who the hell came up with that idea, Diflucan No Rx. I got tricked into coming here. All I heard was "lots of ladies in one night"!

LIAM: Fun-wise, it's pretty much the opposite of that.

BRAD: Dude, I can imagine. Whew— look at that one!

BUZZER SOUNDS

LIAM: Oh, that's the buzz—

BRAD: I don't get the concept at all. I mean, we sit in this circle—

RANDOM WOMAN: Excuse me, I think you're supposed to be over there.

12.

BRAD: Lady, I'm supposed to be a lot of things. You can just move on.

LIAM: (OFF) Sorry.

Diflucan No Rx, BRAD: Anyway. This speed dating. I get that it's a new fad for Cosmo to feature in their next edition, Diflucan use. But, how is this appealing, really. Corralling a bunch of people together and getting the quickest, lamest snapshot of a person possible.

BRAD CRACKS OPEN A CAN OF BEER

You want one. I've got like seven of these, Diflucan No Rx. I'm Brad, by the way.

LIAM: Liam. Sure, why not?

LIAM CRACKS OPEN A CAN OF BEER

I heard that women judge a guy's potential in the first ten seconds of talking to him.

BRAD: Just long enough to check out what clothes he's wearing and if he stutters. My sister Brenda dragged me here because she thinks I need a woman. But, Ordering Diflucan online, really, she just wants me to stop hitting on her friends all the time.

13.

LIAM: Man, my sister brought me here, too.

BRAD: Your well o' ladies been dry for awhile?

LIAM: Uh, I had a girlfriend about a year ago. Diflucan No Rx, But, you know.

BRAD: Yeah. I do feel sorry for the ladies here tonight. Sure, some of them think it's just a laugh, but others, man, you can smell the desperation.

LIAM: It smells like this girl's business card. Check it out.

BRAD: (READING) "Quintuple threat."

I didn't know glitter had a smell.

LIAM: My sister thinks I am lonely or something. She just wants me to be happy. I'm not really sure how being here leads to that.

BRAD: Dunno man.

LIAM: Well, Diflucan No Rx. Hey... there's a pub around the corner. You feel like ditching this place and having a proper pitcher. The game's gonna start in about fifteen minutes.

BRAD: Man. Now you're cooking with class. Let's go.

14.

TWO CHAIRS PUSHED OUT LOUDLY

BRAD (cont'd) I guess we'll be screwing up the organization of this little event even further.

LIAM: Hey, maybe two ladies will strike up a conversation. They might find they have more fun.

BUZZER SOUNDS

END

.

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